I like the story; I think if you were going to redo it you ought to give it more space to develop in, but it's hard to do that when you're writing in a classroom timeframe.
(A dear friend once told me that it's all right if the characters take 10,000 words just to get on the front porch, if that's what they need to do. She was right.)
Also, I want a "Hello, Dionne, let's protect common sense!" icon. Hee.
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Date: 2011-12-03 04:45 am (UTC)(A dear friend once told me that it's all right if the characters take 10,000 words just to get on the front porch, if that's what they need to do. She was right.)
Also, I want a "Hello, Dionne, let's protect common sense!" icon. Hee.