turtlesoup: A dark-haired girl stands with her hands raised, surrounded by a starry glow (magic is shiny - collaborative)Allie makes comics! ([personal profile] turtlesoup) wrote,
@ 2011-11-23 09:06 am UTC
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Current music:lies (the swell season)
Entry tags:cartoonland, felix culpa, in a half shell, odds and ends
Good morning! It's snowing here in Vermont (already. again.) ... and finally, I have a longer comic to share! A fantasy comic at that, which I've been wanting to do for ages.

The following was my answer to our "bibliomancy" assignment: we had to put our fingers down at random in three places in a reference book (loosely defined), and use what we found (words, phrases, even images) at predetermined points in a four(ish) page comic to move the story along. I'll list mine for you after the comic!

I don't have a proper cover for this at present (I'll make one later, for the print version), but this is called "The Swamp Bride."

swamp bride page one


swamp bride page two

swamp bride page three

swamp bride page four

swamp bride page five

swamp bride page six


Also here's the ... unofficial epilogue. (I'm not sure I'll include it in a print version.) I had two endings for the story and couldn't decide between them, so I wound up polling quite a large selection of my friends and classmates. While I eventually decided on the above, several people (including me) really enjoyed the alternative, so I finished it as well:

swamp bride page seven


I came to the conclusion that, fun as that is, it also kind of takes away from the main thrust of the story by making the Swamp Bride back into a sexual object. Sex is great, but this really wasn't the comic for it, alas ... I'll have to see what I can come up with in future!

Anyway, the book I used for this assignment was Marina Warner's From The Beast To The Blonde, a text on fairy tales leftover from my undergraduate studies. My three story elements were:

1. "quoth I" (the beginning of the comic)
2. "a nervous or even anxious woman" (the entrance of the girl at the bottom of page one)
3. a cropped version of this painting (our first sight of the real swamp bride)

None of these gave me a subject, really, and as I was in something of a rush, I grabbed a random illustration I made a few weeks back and ran with that. I'm fairly happy with the way the art on all this came out, but I'm a little shaky on the storytelling ... various classmates had difficulty following some of the things I was trying to say. I may wind up considering this a draft; I've grown attached enough to the story that it'd be nice to make a slower, more careful attempt at telling it well.

If any generous commentors have a minute and wouldn't mind leaving me their take on what's happening in the above pages, I'd be deeply appreciative! ♥

Apart from the above, I'm mostly wrapped up in finishing a twelve-page story and helping to design and edit the anthology it'll be a part of, but here are a couple of odds and ends.

totally self-righteous


I pulled a ridiculous all-nighter to get the Swamp Bride comic done, and then I had to do my diary assignment for the week ... ironically, the above was a compositional rush job with a whole bunch of cut corners on the inking. Can anyone even tell, I wonder? The truth is, I do need to find a bit more balance, while remaining dedicated.

And finally, I actually drew some of my ongoing characters for a change:
spying from a railing


Luce and Mickey, patiently waiting their turn (it'll come, I swear). Drawn for a postcard exchange with my amazing friend Dea (you can see us walking & talking in the background).

That'll do for the moment, I hope ... back, quite literally, to the drawing board with me. If you're in the U.S., have a lovely Thanksgiving; if not, just have a great week!


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Comments from Laura


(Anonymous)
2011-11-23 03:52 pm UTC (link)
Hey Allie,

Comments!

First off, yay for fairy tales (and I wholeheartedly approve of using lesser-known ones).

In the first panel, you might want to make the sign on the tree a little clearer, and/or show the sign on one of the trees in the third panel. Just to make it clear where the words are coming from.

I'd like to see a few more panels with both the distraught maiden's story and the confrontation with Bryant (I'm always a fan of more detail--I'll be the first to admit that sometimes my desire for detail is excessive).

Also, I think you made the right choice with the last panel...though I definitely did enjoy the alternate ending as well!

Keep up the good work,

Laura

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turtlesoup: a green-haired girl in a collared shirt & vest holds her fingers up to her head like devil horns (ain't I a stinker? - waggle)

Re: Comments from Laura


[personal profile] turtlesoup
2011-11-23 10:28 pm UTC (link)
Aw, thank you Laura, these are definitely useful suggestions! I had some people who were a little confused about the maiden (they thought she was running away from the swamp, not running out after Bryant!) and at least one person thought the attack on Bryant was sort of out of the blue.

I think I need to see most of these assignments as starting points, learning experiences ... I may get good ideas from them, but the constraints they impose tend to cause storytelling issues. Compression due to time, for instance (and the fact that this was a four-page assignment, which I had to expand on, but did as little of that as possible because I had so much other work).

Also, I actually made up this fairy tale completely, so it'd better be lesser-known. ;)

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Re: Comments from Laura


(Anonymous)
2011-11-26 01:06 am UTC (link)
I kind of thought so, but it also struck me as a bit Russalka-esque, so I thought there might be a variation I wasn't familiar with. Though of course I knew the lovely lady with the sword was your own invention :)

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